Excerpt One
The issue of abuse is not new and no matter the method, abuse leaves scars that can affect the self-esteem of the victim. A story from the Bible reveals how Amnon’s friend Jonadab discovers that Amnon had desires for Tamar, the lovely sister of Absalom who was a virgin. Jonadab, a very crafty man, suggested Amnon pretends to be ill in order to asked David to let Tamar come and prepare food. He would watch her prepare the food and eat it from her hand. David agreed and Tamar went to his house to make and bake cakes. Even though Amnon was Tamar’s half-brother, he took advantage of the situation and forced her to lay with him. Absalom responded by commanding his servants to kill the perpetrator Amnon, however, no one took the time to minister to the needs of Tamar. She was allowed to stay in her brother’s home, but her spirit was broken. Tamar’s father David was angry but did not take the time to minister to her needs. (2 Samuel 13:4-29)
Excerpt Two
“Both religious professionals and domestic violence counselors can make progress in bridge-building by recognizing that intentional, narcissistic and destructive patterns of personality are at work, both in domestic power and control dynamics and in the power struggles that create destruction and chaos in religious communities”.7 Through deceit and manipulation and the desire for control, abusers seek to control their partners and/or their religious communities. “This type of behavior could be considered psychopathic. Males are not out of control despite this often-heard rationalization of violence. Their behavior is planned and executed with calm and cold assurance.”8
Excerpt Three
Most clergies believe their responses to women in a crisis situation such as domestic violence need to contain Bible verses. “But religious responses without practical advice, and especially without referral to a battered women's service, indicate that the minister does not understand the life-threatening nature of battering."4 Ministers must educate themselves on the secular services offered to victims of domestic violence. The minister must direct the victim to a place of safety until she can find legal help in order to obtain an order of protection. “Assuring the victim that God is concerned about her safety may give her the courage to join a support group or call a hotline to find help for herself and her children.”5 Sometimes ministers confuse the need for consequences and see the man as a person in pain. Ministers should not allow the abuser to trick them. You don’t have to be hit to be abused. Abuse can be verbal, emotional, economic, social, psychological, and/or sexual. Abusive behaviors are oppressive, coercive (force to do something) and controlling. The Lord also will be a refuge for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble. And those who know Your name will put their trust in You; For You, Lord, have not forsaken those who seek You.” (Psalm 9: 9-10, N K J V)
References
Excerpt Two
Excerpt Two
7 Phillips, Colin A. (2001), Equipping Religious Professionals to Engage Effectivity with Domestic Violence, Journal of Religious and Theological Information, Vol.4(1) The Haworth Press, Inc. pp. 47-68
8 Phillips, Colin A. (2001)
Excerpt Three4 Adams. Carol (1994), Help for the battered: Stopping Violence against Women. Christian Century 111 pp. 628-629.
5 Adams, Carol A. (1994)